You gave birth to the biggest failure ever to walk the streets.
I will give youa quick synopsis of my night:
I first repeatedly slammed my foot into a door frame. Unintentionally.
Then While typing, hit myself in the face with a laptop, after making fun of delia for doing the same thing.
Then, while removing my microwave noodles from the microwave oven, I accidentally poured scalding hot water all over my hand and when proceeding to dump the water out, poured all of the noodles down the sink.
When asking Delia if the water in the refrigerator was safe to consume, I idiotically shook the water jug over my head, which little to my knowledge had no cover, showering myself, the dog and the floor in water.
Karma's a big fat ugly bitch.
Because , I've decided that all of these "coincidental happenings" occurred because last night, I tossed my friend's hat into a tree.
On the list of idiots, I'm way up there with Hitler.
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